A slow realization creeped upon me today, while laying in bed relaxating. I'm not going to get into it with anybody just yet, as I'm not sure wha it entirely entails, but it does involve a drastic change in career.

Let's just say it's something I always wanted to do, but never really thought about actually attempting to do it. (Kind of like "Astronaut" for most people.)

Anyhoo, more updates eventually. No, you can't ask me personally about it, this is something I want to figure out on my own here. Or maybe I'll talk to one person, it'll be like Russian Roulette. Who gets to know? WHO KNOWS???

On to other news, I'm still feeling a bit shitty, but I got to spend an evening with one of my favourite people in the whole world yesterday, and it definitely brought my spirits up.


/Choz out

I don't even know what to think anymore.

I don't know where I stand with anything anymore. I feel like an outsider wherever I go, and I don't know why.

I find myself constantly asking myself if I actually have any friends, or is my life just a big practical joke? Do people just snicker about me when I leave the room?

That's not entirely true, actually. There are a few people I know are my friends, but very few. These are the people I see the least, unfortunately. Conflicting schedules and all.

I feel like I'm losing my grip on reality these days. I'm stressed out to the point that I've had a tension headache for 3 days. I can't even sleep, my head pounds so hard. I need to take painkillers just to get some rest so I can be "productive" at work.

Melodramatic? Probably.

Actually happening? Definitely.

I need to reorganize. Get out of the city. I need to change things. A new job. A new city, maybe.

New life?

Who knows.

There's just one thing I need to do to get the ball rolling, and it's proving more difficult than I'd like it to be. I need to speak to somebody and it's just not happening, on my side for one, because I'm a big shit, and because our schedules don't line up very well.

Time is my biggest problem it would seem. Not really a lack thereof, just that it never lines up properly with what I need to do.

Fuck.

Everybody say "fuck" for me, in a nice annoyed tone. Scream it if you have to. Get it out. You know you want to. Everybody else is doing it, so why can't you?

FUCK.


/choz needs an Advil.

So close, yet so very far! Why does the Universe do this to me constantly? *sigh*

Oh well, not giving up. Not yet. I can't. Not this time.


/Choz is bummed and going to do something else.

Oh, on a more serious note, I'd like to extend my congratulattions to Melly on her acceptance to the local palace of edumacation, Concordia University. Congrats to you.

Drinks all around! Send the bill to Fig!

Other than that, I guess I can do a real update, here. Lemme see...

Um, well, things on all fronts are pretty decent. I will be finding out soon about certain things that will change other things a pretty substantial amount. Those who know, understand, those who don't, well, too bad. If it works out, I'm sure you'll find out. If not, I'm sure you will anyway.

Man, I wish I could get paid for being vague.

Hrm, what else? Oh Fig and Melly are looking at apartments (mentioned in Fig's blog recently. READ IT.) and that's kind of mind-blowing. I'd just assumed Fig was gonna live at his parent's place forever. :)

Been reading the Hitch Hiker's Guide trilogy (in 5 parts), and I must say, I can't believe it's taken me this long to read them. They're bloody brilliant. The amount of everyday references seen like, everywhere, is humbling. I thought I was in the loop before, but honestly, I had no idea.

I can now say that the Hitch Hicker's Guide movie is my most anticipated movie of the year, even moreso than Star Wars Episode 3 (which has the potential to redeem the prequels, but won't. I've learned my lesson of getting my hopes up.)

Oh, and I recently saw the remake of Dawn of the Dead finally. Pretty intense.

And I watched Shaun of the Dead again tonight. I'll repeat from my post when I first saw it; you need to see it if you haven't. And if you have, see it again.


/choz needs to start saying "bollocks" more often.

Wellity wellity well...

My pirate name is:

Iron Sam Kidd

A pirate's life isn't easy; it takes a tough person. That's okay with you, though, since you a tough person. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.

This quiz is obviously a farce, as I'm Captain Winthrop Tanglebeard of the Sea Donkey!

I'd also like to think of myself as more of a swaggering gallant than most. I'm like frigging Zaphod Beeblebrox, I'm so swaggeringly gallant.

YAAAAR!!!

I've been trying to get remote blogging to work on here and I can't. Why does the internet hate me so? Godamn.


/choz

I've come to a new conclusion; I'm just not gonna bother anymore.

Bothering lead to hopes, and hopes lead to being crushed.


/Choz isn't even in today, so he can't be out.

Well, the concert was quite dandy. Kind of shocking. I still dunno what "jet rock" is, but they were like greaser surfer punk rock. It was pretty damn cool. And I couldn't have had more awesome company to enjoy the show with.

I kind of regret not buying a t-shirt though. Oh well.

Anyways, that's all, pretty much. I'm learning to play slide blues on my acoustic. For those interested; it's all in the tuning, it would seem.


/Choz likes to rock out with his rooster out.